Van een mama die haar zoon verloor, nog voor hij zijn eerste adem ademde.
Hoe ze het omschrijft, zo is het echt…
Dit is zo inspirerend.
This is an excerpt from the first poem that I ever wrote that has been included in the book, To linger on hot coals. These are the first words that I ever said to my son after I gasped, “He’s beautiful” as I held him for the first time.
There are no words to accurately describe the experience of holding your stillborn child for the first time. You are suspended in time in between worlds of intense heartache, denial, tears and unconditional love. Life as you know it comes to an abrupt halt and nothing else matters. There is a deafening silence that fills the room only to be broken by the heart wrenching cries of the people whose lives have been torn apart.
There is no getting over this.
But at some point in your grief journey, you make a decision in your heart to search for the light again. You make a conscious effort to look up rather than down. You find pieces of beauty that you never knew existed and that is when healing takes a hold of you. It is not an easy choice to make, to begin to heal. It is hard. I remember the guilt I felt when I started to laugh again. How could I possibly laugh when he couldn’t? But then I heard him. “I don’t want to be the reason that your life ended too, Mama.” Those words have stayed with me and it was that day that I decided that I would live my life to the fullest, because I am not only living for me now…
I am living for him too.